Havoc's Tale
by Hagaren-Obsessed
Summary: Ed comes back from the West and visits his friend Havoc in Central. He asks for the latest, and Havoc delights in telling him a story of a particularly boring day in the office. When you cross Havoc and boredom, you get trouble- for Roy. Royai   HavKat!


**Hey Guys!  
>MY ROYAI STORY! It's gonna be in the story I'm working on. I've posted it up for Royai Day! Sorry it's late- I didn't go on my computer yesterday, cos I didn't know the date, and read Harry Potter all day in preparation for the movie! Anyway, It's uploaded now. HAPPY BELATED ROYAI DAY! I took the format from another story... Old and Crusty by Gingeh. It's an amazing story! READ IT!<br>Anyway, Enjoy!**

**Oh- I should disclaim, hey!  
>Fullmetal Alchemist is way to amazing for my mind to comprehend, and If I owned it, it would continue forever, and Milos no Sei Naru Hoshi would be available to watch with English Subtitles in Australia at the movies a year ago, because I've been dying to see it for way too long! But, I don't own it, so that is just a hopeful dream of mine, which I will probably never see come true.<strong>

**Rate, Review, Flame, Ignore. Do what you like, just love FMA and Royai! Sorry if the characters might seem a little OoC. I wrote this ages ago and just went through quickly to check, I didn't really change the story. I reckon that when Royai are alone, they are like this though!  
><strong>

"Hey Havoc! What's been happening?" Ed called out to his old friend from across the park, about to start a slow jog towards him. Havoc looked up, surprised to see Ed slaunting over,.  
>"Fullmetal Boss! It's been a while." Havoc started, watching Ed sit down next to him.<br>"Has indeed, Havoc. Has indeed." Silence engulfed the comrades before Ed cleared his throat.  
>"So, what's your new story? I suspect it's about Royai…" Ed trailed off, looking hopefully at Havoc. When he saw Havoc smirking with an evil look on his face, Ed's day brightened considerably. He always had time for a Royai story.<br>"Ahh, now _that's_ a good little story. Let me paint a picture for you of what happened."

* * *

><p>It was a quiet day in the office again, asides from the sound of a pen furiously scratching on pieces of paper. Mustang wasn't in a good mood. He'd had a bad feeling about today and hadn't wanted to come. He just knew something was going to happen that he would regret.<br>I, however, was really bored. I'd had a smoke before, but it hadn't been enough to keep me entertained. The office needed some livening up. Riza had just left to deliver some paperwork so I grabbed some paper and a pen to scrawl a note to Breda. However, it seems he had the same idea, and passed me a sheet of paper which read, "Brains, how we gonna liven up this place? I need some entertainment." I scrawled a quick plan on the back, and asked that Breda copy it out neatly as he had the neatest hand-writing. We sent the plan to Falman, who eagerly agreed and passed the 2nd half of the note on to Fuery. He looked confused, but as it had come from Breda, he assumed that there wouldn't be much of a risk posed to him. Fuery pretends to be gullable, but he's actually quite with it. It's all an act. He asks the question we ask him to because he knows he won't get in trouble but he will be entertained. He was obviously confused as to why we would ask that.  
>Riza walked in so Fuery cleared his throat.<br>"Ah, Lieutenant Colonel Hawkeye, Ma'am?" Kain spoke, obviously some-what nervous.  
>"Yes, Sergeant Fuery?" Riza kept walking around, stacking latest pile of paperwork.<br>"How's your car running?"  
>This confused the Lieutenant clearly, as she stopped what she was doing to turn around and look at Fuery.<br>"My car, Sergeant? What car?"  
>"The car you've been working on, Ma'am? It's blue with black and white."<br>Upon hearing this, Riza paled considerably. Roy was still oblivious, however, so he joined in, putting down his pen, grateful for the distraction. He was sure he'd get writer's cramp if he wasn't careful.  
>"Fuery, Hawkeye doesn't have a car. I should know. I have to drive home almost every night."<br>Fuery was getting more nervous now. He had just read the note and followed it's instructions perfectly.  
>"Sir, it says here that the Lieutenant Colonel has invested in a white car dressed in blue with black on top. It's a military car with flames down the sides and apparently, it's 'out of this world'."<br>Riza snatched the note out of Fuery's hands, quickly analysing it to discover the scribe. Breda turned white. He scrambled to his feet and started to run out, to head to the bathroom. Roy, on the other side of the room had somehow managed to turn an even lighter shade of white and looked horrified. He had finally realised what the hidden meaning was.  
>Fuery spoke up, still pretending to not know what was meant. "If you haven't driven your care in a while, Lieutenant Colonel, Ma'am, you should probably do that soon to check that it hasn't died or been stolen. You know, check it's in working order."<br>Riza looked up, shocked. She noticed that Breda was running out the door so she dropped the note and took out her gun as she ran out the door, firing as she went at the large shape quickly shrinking. She wasn't aiming to kill, nor to injure, just to frighten. And it worked perfectly. A dark patch quickly spread around Breda's butt.  
>Roy composed himself again and stood up.<br>"Alright, everyone. Let's have an early break for lunch. Come back after and work non-stop. No interruptions if you value your life."  
>We left laughing. It was every bit as entertaining as I had hoped, even more so. Roy made to follow us out, but Riza stepped in the way of the door. She was still brandishing her gun and looked quite hostile.<br>"Back to the paperwork, sir."  
>Roy sighed and the door was shut behind them, and locked. Curious, Falman and I went upstairs to the supervising booth above. We'd had the Fullmetal Boss make it a while ago, and it had proved useful. We snuck up and listened to below, watching through the see through glass. We, however, could not be seen.<br>Roy sighed and looked up from his paperwork at Riza. Stopping his paperwork signing, he spoke.  
>"Lieutenant Colonel, surely you have something better to do with your free time rather than supervising me with paperwork signing." Roy looked hopeful.<br>"Like what, sir?" Riza moved over and sat on his desk. She had put her gun back in its holster.  
>"Like checking how well your car works. It's been a couple of works since you last drove it. Surely it would be a good idea to check the headlights of your car since they were fixed at the mechanics."<br>"I suppose I _could_ do that, couldn't I, _Roy_." She let a hint of lust creep into his name, watching the shivers she caused him to have with a satisfied sense of delight.  
>"Riza, Riza, Riza, Riza." The colonel smiled in joy as the hoarse sound of his lust caused her to get goose bumps. He leant over the desk and turned onto his back, so he was lying down. "Where will you start your examination?"<br>"Well, the top sounds nice, but it will only be brief. I _suppose _I could let my car back up a bit, so there's space." She smirked as Roy stood up and moved back, quickly stripping. Riza ran her eyes over her naked lover. She walked around, trying to keep her face emotionless. "It looks ok," she started, "but I need to do a full maintenance check, the car hasn't had one of those in a while, might need a test drive. However, in the meantime, the car has a job to perform." Riza stepped forward, crushing herself into Roy's bare back. "I believe I might have time tonight if the car would like an appointment to check it's running, it'll cost though," she whispered into her superior's ear.  
>"This car would like to make an appointment then, at 8.00 tonight, his house."<br>"I'm free, I'll see my car tonight then, if it can manage all its jobs." She gestured to the paperwork on the desk. Moving out from behind him, she grabbed the pile of his clothes and handed it to her superior. "Now, get changed, sir." Riza went and sat back on the opposite end of the desk to him.  
>Roy was dressed quickly and took his chair back, sitting on it and the opposite side of the desk to Riza. She still hadn't moved. He pulled her onto her back so she lying down on his desk and he kissed her passionately for a couple of minutes. He broke off needing to capture his breath. She also was struggling to keep her composure and to breath so she sat up and got of the desk, replacing the gap where she had just layed down in with a pile of paperwork. She then created a small area where she could sit to watch her superior sign his life away.<br>"Get to work. I'd like to check my car properly as soon as possible."

* * *

><p>Ed had keeled over in laughter, becoming a hyena again before weeping uncontrollably.<br>"You know," he said whilst wiping his eyes, "You should write a book with all these stories in it. You'd make a mint!"  
>"Ah, but what's good is a mint when you're not alive to enjoy it?" Havoc questioned him philosophically.<br>"True." Ed decided to change the topic before he lost. He hated losing. "So what's the rumour of your love life?"  
>"What rumour?" Havoc asked sharply. That was good, it meant full attention.<br>"I heard you're holding down a girl. Rumours were the name was Chade Kellwettle."  
>Havoc laughed. "Well, the rumours are somewhat true… Accept for the fact that Melissa Kellwettle is the only person alive who could beat the president in a sword fight. Well, apart from her partner Airi Connan. Sheesh. They're both religious nuts who are even more scary than Olivier Armstrong. Nah. It's one of the Major's sisters. She's a real beauty."<br>"Yeah, I suppose you're a bit biased though with whether the Otaku team of Melissa and Elise are more scary than your girlfriend Olivier, huh."  
>"WHAT!"<br>"Well, seeing as you're dating Olivier, you'd have to be a bit biased, wouldn't you?"  
>"NO! YUCK! I am <em>NOT<em> dating Olivier Armstrong! Are you out of your mind? That's way too disturbing as a thought than even reality!"  
>Ed breathed an inward sigh of relief.<br>"So who'd you hook up with then?" Ed questioned, momentarily confused.  
>"Katrina- You know, the youngest sister. She views me as a hero now after the passing of the promised day."<br>Ed smiled. "That's a relief. Guess that means the others will all have to pay up then."  
>"What?"<br>"When you first tried to hook up with Katrina, the boys and I had a bet. They all bet against you, but I backed you for 15 000. I had to pay up but looks like I'll be getting compensation." Ed grinned wildly, with an evil look in his eyes. "Hurry up and tell them all already! Tell 'King' Roy I want my money!"

**So, hope you liked it, sorry if you didn't! Chade and Airi are my own creations, not really, Airi is my creation, Chade is my friend's creation, she's obsessed with that name, so! I don't even own my OC's. They're based on people I know, I just changed their names...**


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